Author: Christy Thom
Have you ever stopped to consider where wedding traditions come from or better yet, how YOU feel about them? There are countless traditions from wedding veils to grooms’ cake and something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and depending on which ones you honor they can (in some cultures) make or break an entire marriage. Whether it’s having your ceremony in a church or the bride only wearing white, these traditions have become a staple of many wedding ceremonies and wedding budgets.
Not that I am against tradition, quite the opposite is true! My take on traditions comes down to a financial one. When you are stretching your dollars to make your day magical you need to consider the impact a tradition has on your budget. When you really think about the value or purpose; are you participating because you want to or because “they” say you have too? I think it’s about time we decide; should they stay, or should they go!
The Wedding Veil
In the past century, the veil has been used to signify a bride’s virtue and for many it has become a beautiful accessory completing a bride’s glamourous look. Although the exact origin of the veil tradition is unknown, research has uncovered the veil is rooted in pretty dark and dirty soil. In the tradition of arranged marriages; daughters who were used as a commodity in the union of families were often unseen by the groom before the wedding day. The veil was used to cover the bride’s face until after the ceremony was complete ensuring the groom wouldn’t back out of the deal!
Many historians agree that the veil first surfaced in ancient Roman wedding ceremonies as a way to protect the bride from evil spirits who were jealous of her happiness and were seeking to ruin the union. For centuries European women wore veils covering their hair for reasons like mourning and to signify “belonging” to a male.
The veil tradition has clearly evolved from it’s dark past and in some families has become a bridal heirloom. Unlike a passed down wedding dress, which would be nearly impossible, the veil has found a place in family traditions as an item that is shared among the women connecting them to their heritage. In this case, a veil worn by a mother is passed down to her daughters and from them to their daughters and so on. The veil remains unchanged and is an accessory exclusively for the daughters sharing the bloodline of the matriarch.
The Bouquet
As with every part of your wedding the decision is up to you! If you love how a veil looks and want a dramatic accessory for your day, absolutely go for it. If you want to embrace and honor the tradition of your family’s brides I say, go all in. For those of you that are considering purchasing a veil, you can expect the cost to start around $25 reaching upwards of $600. Maybe consider ditching the veil if you are giving up something that has greater meaning to you. Do you really need to ward off evil spirits or hide your beautiful face just in case the groom wants to change his mind?
Evil spirits were definitely “a thing” back in the day, bridal traditions are steeped in superstition. The origin of the bouquet is no exception and was another way to protect the bride from evil energies. Unlike today’s elaborate bouquets they used to be filled with bunches of garlic, herbs, and spices to ward off bad spirits. It was also believed the bouquet was a preventive tool to warding off the plague.
As with so many traditions that evolve over time, the bouquet has become a staple in nearly all weddings around the world. Brides typically select flowers based on their overall theme and color scheme or their personal favorites. The bridal bouquet is a perfect way to infuse your style into your wedding look. By honoring the idea of old (warding off evil spirits and energy) and the new (celebrating your personal style) you may create a remarkable piece for your day without breaking the bank. The bouquet can be as simple as a bunch of wild picked lavender or as elaborate as your imagination and wallet will take you.
Something Old, Something New, Something Blue, Something Borrowed
Something Old:
This to help tie the bride’s family, and “past” to her new future.
Something New:
Represents the brides upcoming life with her new husband.
Something Borrowed:
This should be from someone in a successful marriage to pass on good luck.
Something Blue:
Stands for faithfulness, loyalty and purity.
For some brides this can be a wonderful way to incorporate family heirlooms or gifts on your wedding day. For others, that may not have family heirlooms or deep-rooted relationships, this can be an unnecessarily stressful checklist. Finding items that check every box can add up and your guests will never notice the difference.
Before embracing a tradition, I propose you ask yourself:
- Will (a veil, bouquet, or something blue) enhance the celebration for you or your partner? If yes, then go for it and be sure you budget accordingly. If no, it’s time for the age-old tradition to GO.
- Will it your guest’s experience be better? If no, this is a strong reason for not using time or energy.
Join us for several tradition discussions and see which ones should stay and which ones should go!
How many of you started looking for an engagement ring before you even had a serious boyfriend? If you are like me, the idea of a lifelong romance started at an early age and so did the planning. Funny thing is when I began dreaming up my perfect wedding I never once thought about cost and especially not the cost of my ring! Fast forward a decade and yours truly is in a serious relationship and getting ready to take the engagement ring plunge. My real research began, and can I tell you, the world of engagement rings is daunting.
Cut, color, brand, jeweler, style…suddenly my dream ring has turned into a nightmare fueled by Pinterest perfection and Instagram envy.
A Tiffany costs how much?
Before the internet and search sites like Pinterest, the whole engagement ring process started at a local jeweler or shopping mall with retailers like Kay, Jared, and for the bougie types, it was Cartier or Tiffany. I decided I would start the old-fashioned way. I went straight to the Caesars Forum shops to the Cartier counter because why not, you only get married once…if you do it right!
Ummmmm… $5000 for a gold band? What? Are you kidding? I changed tactic and went to a local jeweler. Again, sticker shock and you want to know why? Its not because diamonds and gold crafted in a fancy little ornament fashioned for your finger is truly worth thousands upon thousands of dllars.. NO, it’s the MARK UP! Anywhere from 1000%-3000%! My vision of a glamorous ring was getting very blurry. So I thought, okay, let’s try a second hand jeweler aka Pawn Shop and heck, I even threw in Walmart because lets be honest, once the ring is on your finger no one is looking at the purchase receipt.
Funny thing is, I found the same styles and types of rings, similar quality diamonds and all not that different of prices. One sales associate even told me the only place to buy a diamond is Costco because they have a flat markup of 30% on the highest quality diamonds which are bought in bulk. Exhausted and pretty disappointed I decided to put on my PJs, grab a glass of Pinot and my laptop to take my journey online.
First, I will 100% admit that I love online shopping. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my fair share of Target, Hobby Lobby and Ross excursions but online is easier to explore, compare, and even design my own perfect ring. Which led to the discovery of an entirely new option, lab created diamonds. Having no clue what lab created meant while absolutely loving the look and price drove me to do some digging and here is what I learned:
- Not to be confused with Cubic Zirconia, lab created diamonds have the same chemical properties as a diamond mined from the earth.
- Because they are created in a lab and not from the earth this makes them nearly perfect in cut and clarity.
- They are also 100% ethically sourced, meaning they protect against human rights abuses. This is an amazing option for anyone concerned about the cruelties associated with mining.
- Using a jewelry loupe, manmade diamonds are nearly impossible to differentiate from natural diamonds.
- Most importantly the diamonds are on average 25% less expensive than traditional ones!
Bottom line my friends, even if your budget is low you still have the opportunity to get that Pinterest ring at a wallet friendly price. That seems like a total win/win to me, but to be safe I decided to bring in the big guns… I called my mom. She agreed that it is a great option to get the most for your money, but only if you first consider:
- While it is 25% less expensive upon initial purchase your resale value could be greatly diminished. It will depreciate unlike a natural diamond. If you are looking at this as an investment, it’s not the best option.
- Are you a traditionalist? If so, you most likely want to stick with a natural diamond as it is hard to beat the tried and true.
- Do you like the idea of a family heirloom that is passed from generation to generation? Once again you will want to stick with the natural diamond as it will hold not only its value but strength.
Here is my take, everything depends first on your budget and second on the shopping or engagement experience you are after. Before venturing on your ring journey ask yourself:
- Do you need people to know you have a luxury branded ring?
- Do you plan on keeping the ring forever or do you see yourself upgrading after 10 years? 20 years?
- Do you want something vintage? Custom made?
- Are you going to wear a band day to day and only wear the fancy ring on special occasions?
- Do you want to be surprised and not involved at all?
After looking at everything and considering all options, I am a big fan of the lab created diamonds. They are gorgeous diamonds that for many couples affords them many more options in ring sizes and styles. Going with the lab created diamond affords you the option of getting your dream ring at an affordable cost and I say go for it! No one needs to know you took an alternate route, they just need to know that you have a beautiful ring you are excited to show off.